i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
