If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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