I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
