Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
