Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
