My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
