playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
