He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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