Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
