Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize