you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
