hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i think i have two assholes
Fuck appropriateness.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
