I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
