Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
