Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
