Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
