I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize