now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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