im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
