We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize