i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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