just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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