Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
