I'm gonna have a badass scar
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
