What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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