So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
