after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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