I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize