u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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