I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
