I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
