I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
