walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
