so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
