adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
