I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
