When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
