He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
