i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
