just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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