what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
