Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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