I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
