Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
50% drunk capacity currently
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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