I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
