Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
