Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize