take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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