as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
