Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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