don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
