Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
