better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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