no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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