I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
