Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
