if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
