i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
