the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
